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by William A. Anderson
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by Guy J Manaster
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by S. T. Haymon
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by John Wesley Howard
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Tough Times, Strong Children: Lessons From the Past For Your Child's Future
by Dan Kindlon
Product Group: Book
Publisher: Miramax (2003-03-12)
ISBN: 0786869127
EAN: 9780786869121
Dewy Decimal #: 155.418
Hardcover: 224 pages
Release Date: 2003-03-12
SKU: mon0000043282
Condition: Very Good
Comments: Ex-library Book.
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Editorial Reviews
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Product Description
Every generation of children has to deal with unique challenges and crises. American children today face new realities, from school violence to terrorism, in a world that changed forever on that clear September morning in 2001. Is the generation of children growing up now prepared for hardship, sacrifice, and self-reliance? Here is the essential guide for parents looking for a comprehensive, optimistic strategy for easing the transition from childhood's innocence to the harsh realities of adulthood in the twenty-first century. In Tough Times, Strong Children Dr. Dan Kindlon offers wise and often moving examples of how families and individuals have coped during other periods marred by war, deprivation, and economic upheaval. Through interviews conducted specifically for this book, Kindlon talks to survivors of the Depression; the Blitz; concentration camps; as well as the Troubles in Ireland; and the guerilla war in Colombia. This testimony and these memories demonstrate that parents play a huge role in the way children absorb stress and trauma and how they handle fear and uncertainty. Kindlon examines the roles of humor, bravado, and even denial in making our children feel protected, and yet aware of the world and its dangers as well as joys. Many of the stories in this book inspire us to act courageously for our children when we are afraid, to show them confidence we may not feel, and in the words of a child of World War II, "get on with it." Combining his clinical experience with psychological and biological research, Kindlon explains the process of dealing with adversity and why some children are able to survive and even thrive as adults and others are crippled. He combines hard science with the voices of those who have lived through the worst events of the twentieth century to illustrate the importance of family and extended family; community; a strong belief system; and self-reliance learned from involved parents. Kindlon's good news is that parents can work actively towards empowering and immunizing children against an uncertain future.
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Customer Reviews
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Real People, Real Stories (some borrowed from Bowlby)
Rating  (3)
Date: 2004-10-22
2 out of 3 customers found this reveiw helpful
Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., understands that helping children deal with their emotions is important, but moreover believes that "...the ability to move on..." is equally significant (Kindlon, 2003). Kindlon refrains from labeling family structures and parenting styles. His book makes use of personal examples in an attempt to get the word across. However, it is my individual opinion that some of Kindlon's personal beliefs get in the way of the noteworthy advice he has to share. For example, Kindlon states, "A kid in inner-city Chicago grows up faster than Julia, who goes to school in Wellesley" (Kindlon, 2003). Kindlon uses his own family in many examples, and refers to his daughter, Julia, extensively. The fact remains that kids in urban metropolises "grow up" at the same rate as kids in rural America. Surely no one can dispute the fact that stress (a focal point of Kindlon's book) transpires everywhere. Domestic abuse, drug problems, financial instability, death, illness, and other major causes of stress are not reserved for urbanites. I appreciated the flow of Kindlon's book, and felt that he was easily able to move from one topic to another. Kindlon's book differs from others on the market because he does not label parent and family structures. Rather, Kindlon identifies with a more Ethological theory, or a study of behavior based on evolution. In this sense, Kindlon does not give us statistical evidence based on random sampling questionnaires. All of his stories and antidotes come from real people in their natural settings. He strongly believes in early bonding and a child's attachment with his or her caregiver. Kindlon tells us that:
children who have a strong bond with a caregiver - a secure attachment - tend to be more competent; they are better problem solvers... have better relations with their peers, higher self esteem, and fewer mental-health problems than children with insecure attachment.
Rather than taking old ideas and rewording them as his own, Kindlon appropriately cites his sources as borrowed from human development ethologist, John Bowlby. According to William Crain, Bowlby found through his research that children who did not establish a strong and meaningful bond with a parent or caregiver would grow to become an "affectionless character" (Crain, 2000). These individuals "...use people solely for their own ends and seem incapable of forming a loving, lasting tie to another person". Kindlon agrees with Bowlby's theories that attachment is "...important for later psychological health". However, healing is possible if the growing child can establish a meaningful relationship outside of the home.
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